Handling Grief in Practical Application of ACIM

As you may know, one of our dear angel friends, Kathy Thompson, transitioned Monday night due to an unexpected car accident. I spent many hours on the phone yesterday with those that knew her and loved her so much. At times those I listened to questioned how this tragic accident could have happened to one as loving as she, how unfair it seemed, and asked how should one really feel as a Course student.

The Course does indeed tell us many  ideas about death and the illusion and the attraction that we have to it. But when we lose someone that is so close to us, or as in this case with Kathy, a pure heart and generous spirit that she was, how can one make sense of it? Is it permissible to grieve? Additionally, the Course tells me that this world and the body is all an illusion, am I to just ignore what I am feeling deep inside?

The answer is simply, feel what you are feeling and do not ignore what is rising to the surface. Many students would be tempted to enter into the denial of the feelings that are there. It is not a time to pretend that all is “Love and Light” when we do not experience it in the moment as such. It is the thoughts and feelings that are arising that need our attention. The Holy Spirit walks with us in this journey, even if at times the journey is one of grief at the loss of a loved one.  This is not the time to be “perfect” Course students, but instead to practically apply its principles. No one needs passages of the Course quoted to them at this time, what one needs is compassion and kindness in their process wherever the person may be in the process. It is not to dismiss what is arising. What is arising is there to assist us, to help us continue to release more into the Hands of God.

When we push aside what is there in front of us, the tears, the anger, the devastation, or the despair, we are really pushing aside the healing that can take place in our lives. Myself for example, felt triggered by how she died. I have a fear of water, this I know in the back of my mind. Kathy’s accident occurred after her vehicle went through a wooden guard rail and landed upside down in the fast currents of the Fox River. In this trigger that came up for me, instead of pretending that the fear was not there, I have thanked the fear that came up and handed it over to the Holy Spirit for His interpretation and His Guidance.

Our theme for the month of July has been the section in the Course about “The Obstacles to Peace.” It was no accident that this week we were studying “The Third Obstacle: The Attraction of Death.”  This part I will quote since this passage had been strong for us all that night and since hearing of Kathy’s accident.

When anything seems to you to be a source of fear, when any situation strikes you with terror and makes your body tremble and the cold sweat of fear comes over it, remember it is always for one reason; the ego has perceived it as a symbol of fear, a sign of sin and death. Remember, then, that neither sign nor symbol should be confused with source, for they must stand for something other than themselves. Their meaning cannot lie in them, but must be sought in what they represent. And they may thus mean everything or nothing, according to the truth or falsity of the idea which they reflect. Confronted with such seeming uncertainty of meaning, judge it not. Remember the holy Presence of the One given to you to be the Source of judgment. Give it to Him to judge for you, and say:

Take this from me and look upon it, judging it for me.

Let me not see it as a sign of sin and death, nor use it for destruction.

Teach me how not to make of it an obstacle to peace, but let You use it for me, to facilitate its coming.

T-19.IV.C.11

As one is ready to join with the Holy Spirit, one is ready. It is not to force or push someone into that readiness. It is to allow the readiness to be there within the other person or if we are talking about ourselves here in our own grief process.

Yes, we are never alone and Holy Spirit is always with us whether we invite Him in or not.  He stands ready to be of service to us. As I told one of our Workbook for Students classes last evening, it is to honor and respect where one is in the moment. Honor and respect, be present to oneself. This is actually what Kathy’s life was about. She was wholly present to all that were joined with her be it in person or via the phone or even the internet. She listened and understood, yet she was a woman of great strength, love and joy. She held the light for others who could not do it for themselves in the moment. She was as Holy Spirit is for us.

How do I help someone else? By stepping back from what the ego would have us do and allowing Holy Spirit lead the way. Sometimes that way is to cry tears with others, to hold hands, to share truth, or to just sit still and listen. I do not know until I ask Him.

Jesus reminds us in these recent Workbook Lessons that we are not a body and that we are free for we are as our Father has created us to be. Sometimes we recognize that and sometimes we do not. Hold the Light for others who cannot as those will hold it for us when we cannot. That is how we truly join together.

Namaste,

Rev. Deb

*****
Co-Sponsors & Presenters for the 2011 ACIM Conference
http://www.miraclesone.org/world-wide-events/acim-2011-conference.html

MiraclesOne Foundation
MiraclesOne Light University
“Living the Spirit-Led Life
Through Practical Application of A Course in Miracles”

Revs. Paul & Deborah Phelps

Web: www.miraclesone.org
Toll-Free: 1-877-881-1433
Madison, WI: 608-318-4444 (New Number)

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Question: What about doing the Course with other spiritual paths, traditions, or modalities?

In our opinion, the Course is meant to be studied by itself. When we mix in other belief systems, we end up confusing ourselves even further. Not every path available today agrees 100% with the Course’s philosophy. Other paths may borrow ideas from the Course, but only the Course is 100% pure Course.
Let me use the following illustration: Let’s say you have never learned to drive in your life, take a moment and think, can you remember those days?
You are now learning how to drive, but not only are you learning how to drive, you are learning how to drive a bicycle, a car (standard and automatic), a motorcycle, a bus, and a tractor trailer all at the same time. It would be rather challenging, wouldn’t it? Each has its own specific instructions in acceleration, braking and management of the vehicle. They each are vehicles and will get you where you are going, yet, each work mechanically differently. It would be easy to forget, and to confuse and intermingle what steps to take with each vehicle.
That is why we suggest, try learning one path at a time. If the Course is your path you will know, but give it the time and the dedication it deserves to see if it is. You have probably heard the phrase “jack of all trades but master of none.”
Give yourself a time period and put all other beliefs aside, say 6 months or 1 year. Paul did this himself when he first started. He told the Holy Spirit that he was willing to put everything that he had learned previously from his past spiritual training aside and was willing to focus on learning and trying out this Course to see if it was for him.
You can say that prayer too to Holy Spirit, that you will focus on learning, studying and practicing A Course in Miracles. You will find many rewarding benefits in streamlining your focus.
Trust us, we’ve been there and we know.
This is why our ministry is focused on the practical application of A Course in Miracles. We attempt to see everything from its principles and it helps us to continue to grow and heal as rapidly as we do.

Love and Light,
Revs. Deb and Paul
www.miraclesone.org

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Someone asked a question about Haiti on our ACIM Practical Application YahooGroup.

The following was my response:

For me, I look at it this way. Yes, ACIM says that the world is an illusion, yet, I don’t really experience it as an illusion. I’m typing this for example. If it was an illusion then I would have no need, right?

With Haiti, I can hold the truth for everyone, yet I can be compassionate and I accept what is triggering me about what occurred and offer that to Holy Spirit. In offering it to Holy Spirit, I can then ask Him how would He guide me to respond. Would I respond? Would I send money? Would I go there if I was in the medical profession? Would I do nothing in “form” but pray in truth?

In everything for me, it is stepping back and working with the Holy Spirit.

After leaving my yoga class just now I saw this on a church sign:

Revealing the Feeling is the Beginning of Healing.

I loved that statement because it is so true. It’s not that I pretend that I do not see the suffering in Haiti. It is that if I am not at peace at what is occurring that I reveal that to the Holy Spirit. I do not hide what I am feeling from His sight. I share with Him, accepting it as what is occurring now and then the miracle can occur.

So bottom line for me, I join with HS in EVERYTHING.

Love,
Rev Deb

Rev. Paul and I also shared a little about Haiti during our Sunday Service this morning, the audio podcast should be available within the next 24 hours.

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I was thinking about this week’s reading again this morning as I reflected on our other groups that met this week. We have a Madison study group that meets here on Monday nights where we discussed the same reading. The podcast is from our Sunday gathering which also was the same reading as you probably experienced if you have listen to it.

On Wednesday mornings and Thursday nights we host Tele-conference study classes. Those classes are working with the theme of “Body Image vs. Self-Image.”

Wednesday’s class, the reading that we focused on was from Ch. 4, Section V. The Ego-Body Illusion. At the end of this section, we find:

In all these diversionary tactics, however, the one question that is never asked by those who pursue them is, “What for?” This is the question that [you] must learn to ask in connection with everything. What is the purpose? Whatever it is, it will direct your efforts automatically. When you make a decision of purpose, then, you have made a decision about your future effort; a decision that will remain in effect unless you change your mind.

So it was presented once again with this idea of “What is my purpose in what I am about to do?” “What is my motivation?”

Outstanding for sure!

Then in our Thursday night group we started to read “The Body as a Means of Communication”. We found ourselves talking about the idea of service. What does it mean to be “of service”? Service to God? Service to our brothers? Being the conduit for the Holy Spirit?

As some of you may know, the idea of “service” has been a longstanding one for us here at MiraclesOne. It is really the basis of what we do. Most of my own professional career has been spent working in non-profit organizations and in ministry situations. It is something that comes natural to me. Our philosophy here is one that is called “servant-leadership” that was coined by Robert Greenleaf in the 70s and has been a part of my life prior to finding the Course in 1994. (There’s more on that topic on our website, look under the “About MiraclesOne” menu for “Our Philosophy”)

Coming from this standpoint of servant-leadership it is one of seeing the equality with our brothers here. In seeing my brothers here as my equals, then my motivations can be made pure. I am not here to “win friends and influence people” or to be put on a pedestal. I am here simply to step back, to forgive, to awaken, to remember God, to join with the Sonship. It is a unselfish giving. And as we see in the Course, “to give and to receive are one in truth.” This is why Rev. Paul and I share so honestly about our personal experiences. We are no different and we do not try to be. We make mistakes yet, we give those mistakes to the Holy Spirit to be transformed.

I’m finding that these two themes come together perfectly if we want to consider practical application in the world. Of course we know that our purpose and our function is forgiveness and the Atonement. That is the big picture yet how it is done is also by our everyday relationships. Let’s look at this a little more here.

In thinking about this, what I first receive from Holy Spirit, is to join with Holy Spirit in everything that I do. I had taken a break here from writing this piece to have an advisory session with one of our ministerial students and to run a few errands. In that time away from the computer, I thought a little more. Yes, it really is joining with Holy Spirit in everything that I do.

In one of my conversations today, we talked about allowing others to be exactly where they are. That is freedom. That is what God does with us. If I set a purpose that I want to try and change someone or if I even have the wish that someone would be different, there enters control by the ego into my mind. I want to be right rather than happy.

Paul has been sharing with several people once again on the Rules for Decision, found at the beginning of Chapter 30. “Today I will make NO decisions by myself.” So in looking at this idea of making no decisions by myself coupled with setting goals, I can see pretty clearly here that I need to stop and be in tune with the Holy Spirit. Even if it is a simple acknowledgement in the moment at the beginning of a phone call or an encounter with someone. The simple act of invitation is an acceptance that Holy Spirit is present in my mind and that I would like to proceed in partnership with Him and not alone.

This also goes to “I am here only to be truly helpful,” found on page 28 (2nd/3rd Foundation of Inner Peace ACIM versions). My purpose then is to be only truly helpful. I want peace so then I take the ego “I” out of the equation. I allow myself to be a conduit or vessel for Holy Spirit. Use my feet, my hands and my words today, Holy Spirit, in service to my Father then can be my prayer.

In this I am setting peace as my one goal. For in doing God’s Will, I will always be happy and at peace. I allow Him to direct and I merely follow His Holy Script. I find that this is an easier way of life. It is removing judgment from my life, Ok, yes, judgment can still occur as I still “think” I am here in the world. YET, it is not as it was earlier in my life. I live a much more peaceful and happier life going with the flow instead of limiting the flow with the “I gotta have’s!” or having life’s remote control in my hand.

Look at a remote control for a TV. How many families do you know of fight over who gets to hold the remote? The one who has the remote supposedly has the power. If I have the remote, I can make the decisions. But are the decisions good for the whole?

I do have the control within my own mind for my thoughts before I choose to push the button on the remote. Will I make the decision with the Holy Spirit? If I do, I may not have to go through many channels of pain before getting to the channel of happiness. He will lead me right to it.

What is my purpose? Peace? Then, peace shall be mine when I let go and let God.

This is something I will remember today and everyday in every situation.

Namaste,

Rev. Deb

*****
Co-Sponsors & Presenters for the 2011 ACIM Conference
http://www.miraclesone.org/world-wide-events/acim-2011-conference.html

MiraclesOne Foundation
MiraclesOne Light University
“Living the Spirit-Led Life
Through Practical Application of A Course in Miracles”

Revs. Paul & Deborah Phelps

Web: www.miraclesone.org
Toll-Free: 1-877-881-1433
Madison, WI: 608-541-8000Share

You can be anywhere in the world to participate with us and so we invite you to join us in the way you can!

Join with us as we set the intention for the year 2010, to make it truly a year of healing and peace through the miracle of forgiveness.  We will do this through the practical application of the concepts and principles that we study in the spiritual text, A Course in Miracles.

For this year of dedication, we have designed monthly themes that include weekly readings from A Course in Miracles. These themes will also include a monthly meditation for you to download and listen to at your leisure. (See below for our initial guided meditation and directions for setting your intention for the year.)

The weekly readings will be discussed in our Madison, WI study groups, through internet streaming audio, and through email exchange on our ACIM Practical Application forum.  You can be anywhere in the world to participate with us and so we invite you to join us in the way you can. See below how you can participate with us.

Each day, each moment we are given an opportunity to heal our minds through the power of the miracle. Give yourself a gift and be the happy learner that you are and allow the miracles to unfold in every aspect of your life. You’ll be so glad you did!

Many Blessings on Your Awakening Journey,

Revs. Paul & Deborah Phelps

MiraclesOne Foundation

To receive the monthly themes and meditations and the weekly reading schedule, sign up on our group:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACIMPracticalApplication/

Receive a hard copy, by emailing us at revs@miraclesone.org

Make a Donation to support the work of the MiraclesOne Foundation.

How You Can Participate with Us
www.miraclesone.org

In Madison, WI

Sundays at 10 am

Meditation, Teaching & Study
Mondays at 7 pm

Meditation & Study

MiraclesOne
1949 Sachtjen St.
Madison, WI 53704
608-541-8000

World-Wide Web

Sundays at 10 am Central Time
Weekly Live Internet Teaching on www.miraclesone.org
Also Recorded for Podcast
Download through iTunes or listen directly on our website

Anytime
Sharing & Discussion with Others on our
ACIM Practical Application Email Group
Join the email group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACIMPracticalApplication/

Deciding for Peace and Our Shared Purpose

We begin very simply by setting our intention in quiet with Holy Spirit.

This quiet time spent with the Holy Spirit gives us an opportunity to join with Him in quiet listening for His Guidance. We then make a commitment to continue to work with Him on a regular basis and apply  His gentle awakening lessons in our daily lives.

Use the 20 minute guided meditation that can be downloaded from our website to assist you with the Holy Spirit connection process.

The guided meditation uses quotes from A Course in Miracles that incorporate the ideas of deciding for peace and
defining our purpose.

You may download this meditation from iTunes or directly downloaded from our website.

Direct link: http://www.miraclescircle.org/mm/itunes/PeaceandMiracles2010.mp3

As you work on making your commitment and setting your intention for the year, we encourage you to journal your insights and experiences with Holy Spirit to deepen your healing experience.

Examples of possible commitments:

I will do the Workbook Lessons daily.
I will take time for silent communion with the Holy Spirit.

I will join with the Holy Spirit immediately when I feel
anything that is not of peace.

I will replace fear thoughts with love.
I will participate in a Study Group on a consistent basis.

I will be vigilant of my mind.
I will find a Workbook partner and make regular contact
with my partner.

I will share my miracles and my challenges with others and
with ease, knowing it is for the benefit of everyone.

I will be loving & gentle with myself when I make mistakes.

I will acknowledge my holy encounters and see my brothers
as myself.

I will share my insights and messages received from Holy
Spirit on the ACIM Practical Application email
group on a regular basis.

I will make no decisions by myself.

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